Well, not exactly sure what to write. I am not a writer at all. I decided to jot down my feelings and daily life experiences because lately I seem to have dificulty expressing myself to my husband. I have become everything I never wanted to be... A yeller, a complainer, overweight....angry. Very, very disappointed in me............
So, lets see... I'll start here.... my "life" began at 40... ha ha... I had just the year before got out of a very long crappy relationship, lost weight, felt good. I met my now husband, Mike, when I was 35 and we began having children when I turned 40. We were married after my first daughter was born. By the justice of the peace, no engagement, no wedding... was to be a secret.
My daughter was born on February 03, 2005 via c-section... WOW, was that an experience I will never forget and I wouldn't change a moment of... I never went into labor after the doctor determined the water around the baby was too low and they tried to induce me.... My husband and I were sent to the operating room to prepare for the c-section... it was scary, but in reality, i was more afraid of giving birth naturally. onced prepared and about 20 minutes and alot of tugging, i heard the cry and they brought my daughter over to me... Ohhhh, I really cannot even explain the exploding, overwhelming feeling of looking at her. Very.... unreal? Is this really me? She is beautiful, amazing... Is she really mine? Thats what she looks like? Darker then I thought she would be. And her eyes are open. Mike, look, look at her... He has tears in his eyes.... as he is snapping pictures.... the whole birth, just life changing from that moment... happiness, fear, love... love. love for this baby and Mike, just feels like one big feeling...
I am now a "mom in my 40's"...............
